Tuesday, June 26, 2012

First, swamp cooler is not AC. Second, it's broken anyway.

In January, when we're halfway through a bitter winter and far removed from Big Trip 2012, I'm sure we'll look back on yesterday and remember it fondly.  One day out, however, it's still looking like a big steaming pile of vacation poop.  Our goal was to travel from Kingman, AZ to Kanab, UT with two stops in between.  Stop one was the Hoover Dam.  It was about what you'd expect, though I'm sure none of you would expect me to tell you that it was the grossest porta potty I have ever encountered.  Shame on you, Hoover Dam.  The largest dam in the world, an engineering marvel beyond comparison and you guys can't even figure out how to get flush toilets at your visitor's center.  Ok, not so bad at this point (Gross, sure.  Boring, absolutely, but not terrible).  You're wondering where the steaming pile of poop starts?  
Have you been to Lake Mead?  We gathered our 16 1/2 foot canoe, popped that bad boy on top of the Matrix and headed to Lake Mead for a day filled with water fun.  As we round the bluff and get a view of the lake breathtaking is the only word that comes to mind.  Beautiful blue water with high mountains in the background...truly gorgeous.  We found the PWC beach (personal water crafts, I think) and unloaded the canoe.  It's the desert so, well, it was hot.  Really hot.  And, I'm totally eating crow here, it was windy as all get out.  There was no way we were going to be able to paddle for any sustained period of time.  It was so windy that white caps were breaking on the shore and we couldn't hear ourselves above the whistle of the wind.  What do the Holdhusens do when they are boiling their tails off on a giant windy lake in the middle of a miserable desert?  Canoe!  For.Five.Minutes.  Then we skillfully turn the canoe around and head back to solid ground.  The next half hour is an unpleasant mixture of listening to Odelia scream, strapping the canoe back on the roof of the Matrix and watching our skin sizzle in the unnatural heat of Nevada.  We load back in the car, travel for another 10 minutes to the Lake Mead swim beach (not to be confused with the PWC beach, rental beach, special activity beach or large watercraft beach).  The swim beach did not look one iota different than the last beach we occupied.  Imagine if they blew up a bunch of rock formations, dammed up a river and offered it to the good people of Nevada for recreating...It felt like we were swimming and picnicking in the middle of a construction site.  You'll notice from the pictures that Milo was oblivious to Lake Mead's unappealing and rancid close up appearance.  He frolicked blissfully unaware.  Odelia caught on quickly to the merriment once she realized that barefoot wasn't an option with all the lovely broken glass strewn about for our swimming pleasure.  With shoes securely intact she joined Milo for some frolicking.  I chose to keep my blaze orange safety vest on in case we really were in a construction zone.  Ok, still not horrible, right?  Unpleasant, sure.  
Here's the rest of the day in a nutshell...
1) Return the canoe.
2) A miserable, long (and did I mention hot) drive through the dankiest, most uninteresting part of Las Vegas one could imagine.
3)  As soon as we get through Las Vegas and are on the on ramp to the desolate highway heading to Kanab, Milo has to go potty.  Find bathroom.  Everyone unload.  Use bathroom.  Back in car.
4)  Arrive in Kanab at house and forget our password to get the key out of the lockbox.  All load back into the car and head to a McDonald's where we procure wireless and retrieve the password (and, sadly, dinner).
5) Eat dinner in the house all the while wondering why we are so hot. Yup, the air conditioner is broken.  Brother of owner comes over.  Brother of owner tells us that the "evaporative cooling system" is, indeed, broken.  The thermostat reads 85 degrees.  He leaves to "round up some fans" and comes back with ONE fan.  Mark leaves to go buy more fans...but we're are in the middle of nowhere.  No more fans for us.  It's pushing 9pm.  We have one fan, a hot house and two tired kids.  They draw the long straw and get the fan.  We discover that the dryer is not vented and is blowing all the hot air into main floor of the house.  Mark calls the owner.  Owner verifies that the dryer is not vented.  Useful.
6) Night, night sweltering desert.  

But today was a new day!  The "evaporative cooling system" got fixed.  Lake Mead is a safe distance from me and the kids were ready for some relaxing and adventures.  We meandered over breakfast, enjoyed the fruits of the apricot tree in our backyard and merrily settled into the house.  Before lunch we headed to Coral Pink Sand Dune State park just outside of Kanab.  We told the kids that it would be a giant sandbox and it didn't disappoint.  Odelia was blissfully happy.  She knew exactly what to do.  She whipped her shoes off and made sand angels immediately.  It was a gorgeous park and the sand dunes went on for miles.  We all came back to the house with orangish-pink sand pouring out of our shoes, stuck to our hair, under our fingernails and, in Odelia's case, overflowing from her pockets.  The rest of the day was filled with relaxing, making "evaporative cooling system" jokes, grilling, toenail painting and movie watching.  Tomorrow we are heading to the north rim of the Grand Canyon for a little hiking. 
Hotel livin'.  Odelia on the ipod and Milo sleeping with his crown on.

The Hoover Dam.

At the dam.

The canoe lady was skeptical...don't doubt my husband.  It only makes his will stronger.  On goes the 16 1/2 foot canoe. 

Strappin' her down.

I love this picture.  It was right before Lake Mead unleashed its total raunchiness on us.  I must say, it does look beautiful, doesn't it?

I know, I know.  But it's what's on the inside that counts.

Happy Home Yoga:  The Tree
Lake (Anne?) Mead, NV
Disregard my scowl.

It's all fun and games until the canoe capsizes. 

Odelia
Lake Mead, NV

Milo didn't hesitate.  In he went.  Rock throwing commences.

Odelia swam in her unders. 

Splashing.
Lake Mead, NV

Apricots from the backyard tree.
Kanab, UT

Milo trying a fresh apricot.
Kanab, UT

Odelia ate three of them.

The kids bedazzled their water bottles this morning.

It was Milo's idea.

Our morning.Kanab, UT

Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

We carved out a little spot and started playing.  Sand for as far as the eye could see.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Blue skies!

I love this picture.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT
Serious 3-year-old joy!
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Buried alive!
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Milo discovers how to cool himself off.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Attempting to bury Milo.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

These flowers were all over the sand dunes.  It was beautiful.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Fun in the sand!
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Little O's.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Sand, sand, everywhere!
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Mark rolls down the dune.  A series.
1 of 4
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Mark rolls down the dune.  A series.
2 of 4
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Mark rolls down the dune.  A series.
3 of 4
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Mark rolls down the dune.  A series.
4 of 4
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Our shoes take a break.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Doesn't this picture look like we photoshopped her in?

Milo attempts a roll. Aborts mission immediately.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Odelia's pants kept falling down on our way down from the dunes.  ALL of her pockets were chocked full of sand and it was weighing her down.  We had to de-pants her and dump it out so she could keep her pants up.

Milo climbs a tree, finds a toy soldier hiding in a branch and feels like he won the lottery.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, UT

Where's Milo?

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